ma babes

Tooth Fairy

2006-09-13T22:01:00.000+08:00

Hiqma is growing up. Obviously. One of her front teeth is doing the wiggly-wiggly. Not so violently yet. But enough to cause her distress. For once, she is not looking forward to visiting the dentist. Haiiiiii... another medical practitioner gets to milk money from me. Some time ago, Hadyr got diarrhoea. Then the next week, he got one heck of a big boil near the shit-hole. But that has cleared up without difficulties. Just a complete course of oral antibiotics and topical cream got it cleared up. AT THE SAME TIME... Hiqma caught the diarrhoea bug during her school's Teacher's Day Party. Oh bugger. So it's happy family time in the doctor's room. Just when I thought they both were out of the woods, yeah, I have to make a dentist appointment... and Hadyr's heat rash is getting from bad to worse. I'm keeping an eagle eye on it. If it gets any worse, I'll go straight to Dr Yap. Who ever said having kids was cheap?
Yesterday was a crappy day at the office. All I wished for was at least 15mins of solitude to complete my task at hand. Oh crap. Guess what, it wasn't granted. And the crap continued till today before noon, at least. So the drawings that I have been working on since LAST WEEK is still not completed. Usually, it'll take me at most 3 days to complete a set. I just felt like chucking everything into the rubbish bin, take leave, and have a fabulous day window-shopping somewhere else. But that'll mean procrastinating, right? So f*d up. I think I could have gobbled up 3 bars of snickers if it was offered to me just now. That was how frustrated I felt.
When can I actually quit on a whim and yet have no regrets and fear about it? Nak kawin anak raja dah too late. Hai... nasib, nasib. Life is sooooo full of regrets. How I wished I didn't have to slave so hard in the office to provide the best for my kids. My kids are my saviour. At times like this I really regret not hitting the books back when I was in school. It's not that I regret being an ITE student. It's just that I should have continued going into poly after that. But actually, I did go into poly. Failed programming class. Got kicked out. F*d up real bad on that one. That is my biggest regret until now. Sometimes I feel like taking a bank loan and going back to studying full-time. But if I were to do that, what would happen to my kids? Everything I do now is 100% for them. I can't even bear to splurge on myself on big money items. I can't afford to. I wish that there is a career opening somewhere maybe in Canada or Houston.
Life sucks as it is. With some people taking great pleasure in making my life more miserable, just makes me want to SCREAM!!!!! F*. Go f* yourself. I wished they would just die and not cause a great big headache. They think they are so indispensable, that the world stops rotating without them. Heck, the world was already rotating before they were born. So they will be doing a great service to mankind and my sanity by drinking a whole gallon of cyanide and go die in a quiet and dark spot. I wish I was given a baseball bat and the permission to bash in their smug faces. And not get prosecuted for it. I don't call it violence. I call it years of endurance coming to an end. Do they actually know that they are making people around them miserable?
AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!
I think I need professional counselling.
Anybody know the way to Buangkok Green?
I.
AM.
FUCKING.
SERIOUS.

CAT-astrophe

2006-09-06T21:18:00.000+08:00

18 cats in a fortnight. What idiot in his right mind will slaughter helpless felines roaming the streets? I mean... I am so deeply saddened. I don't know, sad is just not the right word to say. Mad? Understatement. Incensed? Too compassionate. There just isn't any word in my capacity to describe how I feel about this CAT-ssacre. Yeah, the jerk/jerks live in my zone... Jurong. I think I will have sleepless nights if I was living in the exact bloodzone. The law had better come down hard on the brainless sapien/s. A monetary fine will not suffice. Heck, even a jailterm will not be able to do justice to the crime. The culprits need to be castrated! Yeah, castrated, without anesthesia, be it local or general. My thoughts are running wild all over. I don't even know where to begin. The Cat Welfare Society offering $2,000 is just a sweetener. I have friends - who can't even stand the sight of a cat - get worked up. I just can't imagine what the catlovers in Jurong East are feeling at the moment. Sweet Jean from C95 earlier said that she'll top up another $500 to the reward. It's not the amount that will matter. The main thing is that the cat-hitler be caught as soon as possible before more killings are carried out in the cover of darkness. Just because one cat irritates you, you don't go out eradicating the species. Do I have the liscense to kill your family because you irritate me? Come on, thinking caps, people, thinking caps. What kind of short-term and long-term solutions can we collectively come up with to handle the stray cats issue? Culling is a short term one. I strongly believe in education and responsibilty. Right from the young. Keeping animals are not a status symbol. If you're thinking of keeping siberian/alaskan huskies( i love these dogs), unless you can keep the air-con in your house 24/7, forget about it. Even ACRE has raised an issue about the Singapore Zoological Garden keeping polar bears in our climates. Inuka is showing signs of stress in his enclosure.It is not enough for his natural instinct to roam and explore. I learn that Spore Zoo is scouting around for a newplace to transfer him to.
Crikey! A conservation expert has gone to a better place. Yeah, on the surface, it did look like he was just totally crazy to be handling those creatures the way he does. But believe it, he has total respect for them. I never fail to learn something new every time I watch his programmes. Jeff Corwin is getting there... but not quite. Sir David Attenborough brings a different perspective altogether. There can never be another Crocodile Hunter. Well, unless Bindi or Robert takes over. My heart goes out to Terri. Not being there when he died. So mant questions must be running in her mind. I really do hope the family does not agree to publicise the footing showing the ray's barb piercing Steve. The greatest irony of it all. To roll with the crocs... and be killed by a barb through the chest from a usually docile ray. Let the world remember him as he was. Please. An advocator of animal rights who gets down and dirty with them... and having fun while doing so.

Crumbling Under Pressure

2006-08-31T23:09:00.000+08:00

Yep... finally self-destructed my resistance NOT TO get any enrichment book for Hiqma prior to Primary One. "Mama, can you buy for me Teacher's Day cards at Popular?" Yeah, rite, she celebrate in school and I buy the cards for her. Hahaha! So... instead of just popping in and grabbing a coupla cards and get outta there... what did I do? Went over to the assessment books area and my eyes practically popped out! Lovingly caressing the glossy covers of the books displayed, I grudgingly decided on ONLY three. ONLY. Well, actually, while browsing, I already had about 7 in my arms. So I only took the necessary - counting money, maths revision and english grammar.

I wonder where Mr Eynon is now? He was my English teacher back in Sec school and his lessons were always peppered with games and quizzes. He did mention something about writing a book, but I have not seen it on any shelves. Maybe he heaved his bum back to Britain and published it there. Dang, I miss his laugh and cheeky twinkles. Typical English Ah-pek. Old man... did have a slight BO when it gets sweltering hot. Always has a face towel with him. Sometimes two. Wears socks with his Birkenstocks (the real thing) waaaayyyyyyyy before it was cool to do so. Coloured socks. Came up with the phrase "verbal diarrhoea" for those who just cant stop talking during lessons. I still use it nowadays.

Well, anyway, back to the story. Reached home, and sat down with Hiqma to do her cards. I nearly ripped the cards to shreds. Cos her handwriting was ALL OVER the place. I gave up. For presentation's sake, I wrote her teacher's name on the cover of the envelope. Thank goodness she relented to me doing that for her. I showed her the new "fun-activity" books I got her and quickly put them away. The temptation to get started right away was staring at me in the face. Than god I had the cow-sense to let her enjoy her termbreak. But at least I wrote her name on the covers. Made me feel better now that I had the books in my grasp. Pure, unadulterated relief.

Hiqma has been feeling a little off these few days. I dunno, it might be the weather. Yeah, blame it on the weather. Actually, I've been feeling it too. I wake up every morning with a scratchy throat which will disappear by 7am, and the cycle repeats itself the next day. Frustrating, innit? I would rather be flat-out sick for a few days rather than the symptoms playing hide-and-seek with me. F*. Heheh, big joke, well, not really...

Hadyr got diarrhoea last Friday. Though knocked out with a lot of pooping, his appetite didn't suffer a little bit. In fact, it increased. He's finishing his milk now. I changed it from S26 to Isomil, and he chugged it down with relish! I should have given him Isomil from the start. But actually, it does taste good. I tried it. Yeah, I did. I could have made a glass of it for myself if I wanted to. It was that good. It didn't stink as much as Nursoy. Nursoy stinks to high heaven. So imagine the shit-smell that comes from it. Will hit even the highest heaven. The diarrhoea abated by Wednesday. And it was followed by a nice, red, juicy boil the size of a one-cent coin right at the side of his shit-hole. Erh, no joke. Serious. I laughed. Out loud. Poor boy. Screwed up his round face and threatened to turn on the waterworks. I mean, the germs just don't cut him any slack. Crap (no pun intended), in two weeks he'll be getting another jab. Again. But it'll be the last time I'll be dragging our asses to Jurong Polyclinic until March/April next year.

Got my tax letter thingy about a fortnight ago. Can't really recall where I kept it. Oh heck. If it's in the bedroom, it will be somewhere in here. All I know is that I have to give a "donation" to IRAS. If I can't find it by November, I'll just call them up and ask them how much I owe them. No sweat. Why do some people make a big fuss over taxes? You just close one eye (or both), take a deep breath and press the "ENTER" key to transfer the money to the government's coffers. That's what I do, anyway.

Monthly bills are another thing altogether. Those by Giro, I dont bother to think about. The ones where I have to line-up and pay at the AXS-Station or SAM Machine, well, I like to pay more than what I am billed. Yeah, your eyes not playing tricks on you, lah! Two months ago, feeling a little rich (hahaha, wierd!), I dumped a sum into the Singtel a/c. So I don't have to pay until December, I think. The others, I like to round it up to the nearest whole number. I know, I'm wierd. So the amount always gets smaller the next month. It kinda feels nice - to me, at least. The only thing is, I always pay at the last minute. Gotta kick this habit. Writing it down on my planner has no effect. Coz I always overlook it. But it still gets paid. So there. I don't have to understand why some people make paying bills such a big deal. Hey, you use the services, you pay for it. The only grouse I have is that the PowerGrid people could make all of us a happier lot by giving us more rebates. I'm grateful for what I got so far, but a bigger amount would be nice.

I neeeeeeedddddddd my Meiji Dark Chocolate...... and chendol softee...... argh......

Bushed

2006-08-23T20:34:00.000+08:00

I am really, really, really exhausted. Dunno why. Have not been to the gym for a bloody long time. I guess the shit has really hit the ceiling in the office. One of these days I really WILL throttle one of the operations people. Stoopid little things and they still need us to hold their hands and lead them .F*. Today my Mosbarron sail off to the north seas. One load off my mind. P2005 aka "Soehana" estimated launching mid-Sept, but after going onboard yesterday... hahaha... I dun think so... launching date has been pushed back from July to Aug and then to Sept. I dun want to think about the LD payments man! There goes my bonus. Shucks. All the machinery and storage rooms are still a maze of scaffoldings and partitions. The accomodation block - erh... Thank god the general housekeeping wasnt half bad. It was sweltering hot inside even tho there was adequate ventilation. I was dripping perspiration from every possible skin surface by the time I stepped off the vessel. Helmets off to those who spend their working hours in the stuffy bowels of the vessel.
Hadyr's at it again. Trying to roll from one end of the bed to the other. He's really getting more mobile. And more attention-seeking. If the mood strikes him, he wants to be biologically attached to your hip. He's also pooping a lot these days. From just 3 times a week to three times a day... that is a whole lotta difference. But relax, it's not diarrhoea. Just a phase. He's becoming more noisy also. And he knows when mommy is leaving for work. He'll happily follow bibik at the gate. Once I get home, he'll just sit on my lap and rest his head on my shoulders until he falls asleep. Sweet right? Well, that makes it more difficult to make me put him on his crib and take my shower. So most days I try to run straight to the bathroom as soon as I step into the house. I try. Really. His eyes will follow me from the main door to my room door. Serious.
I am having doubts about not giving Hiqma prep work for Pri 1. It been bugging me since the Popular incident. I have been dropping by Popular more often and browsing the shelves, but stopped short of buying any of them. But they all look so enticing... better than Aigner bags on sale at Paragon. OMGosh, assessment books, calling out to me? This cant be real. Thank god I dont work in the Bras Basah area. Or else they'll have to wipe up my drool... lusting after those books. Come on man, this cant be happening.

Where's the snickers when you need it?

My Field Trip

2006-08-21T22:01:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I went to the Botanic Garden. I went with my mum, my grandpa, and all my family. Then I go to the fountain place and then there was a waterfall. I also a small rainbow. I saw a green lizard on a small palm tree. I would like to touch the lizard. Then I saw squirrels on a rambutan tree. I also saw a red dragonfly. I also saw an eagle. I also spotted a pitcher plant, but no venus flytrap.

(as related by Hiqma)

A Childhood Lost

2006-08-17T22:38:00.000+08:00

Dropped by Popular after work yesterday to get some stuffs. While queuing up at the cashier, there was a guy infront of me with a whole load of assessment books. Ah, prepping the kids for final exams (though a little too late). Little did I know that he was prepping his kid waaaaaay tooooo early! As the cashier was scanning the books into the system, I kepo a little and looked at the titles... "Preparing for Primary One" series. My jaw dropped onto the floor and would have rolled to one corner if it could! What was the parent thinking? The remnants of his kid's free childhood is quickly disappearing. What damage will it do to the kid in the long run? His bill came up to $55 smtg. I wanted to cry for his kid right there and then.
Here I am, still letting Hiqma have the time of her life (except when studying for English/Malay spelling and Compre) and other parents are already drilling their kids to be regurgitating robots. It's no surprise that suicidal rates spike during exam periods. I scanned around, hoping to catch a glimpse of the unfortunate offspring. The kid is enrolled in Learning Vision, for God's sake. Asking around today in the office, I found out that they do have a good programme for pre-primary level.
Should I start worrying? I mean, I made my mind up that she wont be getting tuition unless heavily recommended by her teachers. She has to take learning as an enriching experience, not smtg that is drilled into the brain until it is void of emotions.
Sorry, I still cant get over feeling really depressed for the kid. Really. Life is short. It's not worth wasting it away bleeding your brains out over facts that you wouldnt use in real life. Stop and smell the roses, it's ok to get cut by the thorns, but that's life. You hit a little bump, fall, get up and move on. I know I am rambling.
Poor child.

Jubilation in Numbers

2006-08-11T23:09:00.000+08:00

329. That's the number I hold so dear to my heart since 1st August. That's her serial number when we registered her at West Grove Primary. But you know, it's not like a really life or death matter. It's just like we want to try our luck. No harm in trying right? So we did, and WE GOT IN. Or rather, Hiqma got in. Yep, she passed the ballot. I really felt like jumping for joy at the school gate just now when I saw the tick in the "successful" column. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Even the school ah-soh could sense our jubilation and asked if we were gonna have a party to celebrate. Haha! Even the security guard at the gate gave us a thumbs up sign.
While waiting for the bus at the bus stop, we saw a father and daughter go up to the list at the gate. With shoulders slumped, he led his girl away. We made a wild guess... unsuccessful?
At the moment, I still cant stop smiling (starting to get face cramps oredy) cos we only had about 30% chance of getting in! 101 vacancies, 345 registered in our phase. Living just in the opposite block would have put us in the 1~2 km range. Its like everything falling into place. I feel so blessed.
So far I got Hiqma into a good kindergaten. Good value for money. She has English, Maths, Malay, Arabic, Religious Studies, Art and Crafts, Music, Computer Lessons. So the basic groundwork is covered. I also got her into a good weekend madrasah, but I will be changing it next year, cos I found a comparable one just 10 mins away.
About time I started the praying bit more often. I need a push factor. Am I really that lost?Gosh, I sometimes feel so ungrateful. I mean, if it means that Hiqma and Hadyr gets the best that I can offer them, a whole lotta sacrifice on my part is a very small price to pay. So this means that Hadyr is assured of a place when his time comes for registration. Insyaallah. Not being suspicious, but he is also born in a very auspicious chinese year - the year of the dog.
All I am looking forward to is the orientation bit and prepping her for P1 next year. We'll see how it goes. We'll cross the bridge when we get there.

WTF*!

2006-07-24T21:41:00.000+08:00

I feel crappy today. Period. There, that's the cause of my foul mood today.

I screwed up real big at the office today. But not really my fault lah. Server was trying to play me out again. Got me into a colourful mood by mid-morning, coz I had to re-do a drawing 5 times. Crap! But of course, to top it all off, breakfast was shitty. Milo-peng and 2 slices of milk bread. Where's the cheese when you crave it? Argh!

And then the Operations people had to keep on bothering about e-v-e-r-y l-i-t-t-l-e detail. F*, couldn't they for once crank up the gears up there and THINK? So I had to stop what I was doing (been working on that particular drawing set since last week) and entertain them. Told them to come back in half an hour but insisted on waiting in my office. So stuff it lah, I took my own sweet time. Got the bloody gall to comment some more. So he got a piece of my mind lah. Don't want to wait, go do yourself out there! Kecut kejap ah-pek tu. I guess in all my years, I have never been so gloomy there. Rasa lah korang!

And then someone had to start playing a fool with the air-con remote. Got another one from me lah. If you want to feel stuffy and hot, wrap yourself with your bloody blanket. Bloody hell, with all the electrical appliances in operation, and full manpower, 22C is a little sweltering, innit? F*, want some warmth, go work in Dubai.

Managed to get some shut eye during lunch, but still wasnt refreshed when work resumed. I was feeling really crappy by 2.30pm. And of course, who should come traipsing in, but the same Operations guy, asking for another small alteration. I guess my expression said it all. He left the drawing with me and came back in half an hour. Now I know how my DLE felt with people hounding him non-stop for a little of this, a little of that.

The guy opposite me thought it was real funnuy to sing songs out loud. Well, usually I tolerate it. But today, no way, whaddaya think, you eligible for SI? Way too old, I say. So I barked back to his face, want to sing, the nearest K-Box is at Clementi Central. He was shocked. He immediately shut up and started talking (or maybe cursing me) under his breath. I told him, you want to say something to me, you say it to my face, or else shut up. Well, no foul language used, so HR cant kick me out of 21 Pandan Rd. Hahaha! Well, the person they should kick out is that guy, coz he really get in my nerve. Want to read newspaper also make so muxh noise! So cheapskate, in 3 years, I have never seen him buy a newspaper. Always borrowing from others. Sooooo thick skinned. Well, he can go F* his wallet for all I care.

And then to make my day sweeter, my stomach cramps came back with full vengeance at 5.20pm. My first since giving birth. Caught unprepared, there was no panadol menstrual hidden anywhere in my locker. Shucks! Tahan the pain until my eyes got crossed, I think, coz i felt tears streaming down my face. My brain must have switched off the pain sensors. Really, it was that painful. It was like having contraction painall over again. Thank god it subsided by 5.40pm, or else i dont know how on earth I'm gonna get home.

Home... another shock greeted me as soon I walked into my bedroom. Hiqma spilt her poster colour water on my carpet, making her an accidental graffiti artist. Since all my energy was spent at the office, I called Hasnul on how to deal with it. Fold and throw away the carpet. Shocking, innit? But he has been itching to throw it away since way back then. (So got another reason to go shop-shop at Ikea lah.)

Damn, gtg, wanna watch Grey's Anatomy coming up in 15 mins.

The Bird Lady

2006-07-14T23:03:00.000+08:00

Just wanna get it off my chest... I am so into Sheryl Crow. I know, I know, kinda little late. Cant help it, don't know why. Sigh, how I wished I learnt playing the guitar back in school.
Now the brain is a little fuzzy from lack of sleep. Too much work in the office lah. But I insist on not doing overtime until my boss points a welding torch in my direction. Ok, maybe only on Fridays, but only for an hour. Get a life... Fridays? What was I thinking.?
I don't know, post-Lance Armstrong, she seems to has better airplay on the radio. Or maybe it's just all in my head. her compilation cd is the first cd i bought since... god knows when. gonna convert it to mp3 version n stuff it into my hp. Erh, techy hubby, a little help would be nice here!
She's like what, 40 now? What would I be doing at 40? OMG... that'll be like, in 9 years time. Am I really that old? See, my thoughts are all floating in my head, I can seem to stay on a thread for long! I guess this is what happens when a person gets older... gingko nuts, where forth art thou?
Lenny Kravitz, RHCP, Robbie Williams, BEP.. please hor, all of you take a back seat. I want to immerse myself in Sheryl's melodies. Not becoming a die-hard fanatic, though. Just wanna keep on listening to her songs until I start to OD on it.
But I tell ya, she exudes more girl-power than all the gummy sweet Spice Girls put together. They just sound way too flaky. Ok lah, mebe Shwryl's just a few notches higher than All Saints. What a pity they split. They make good music. Somehow they dont sound good solo. And S-Club 7, oh man, they were good. Call me immature, but I still singalong to their songs. Madonna, erh, no comment. Just way past her prime. But Christina Aguilera is waaaay better than the other one, Britney Spears. Take a listen to their albums and compare. Who has songs that has more substance? I mean, she coulnt even make up her mind back then... girl, woman, bitch, slut? jeez, what crock!
Can I be programmed (just like Keanu in "The Matrix") to immediately know how to play the guitar. Can't even get the chords right. When chubby hubby tried teaching me years ago (TRIED - really!), I got cramps in my fingers! Imagine that! So you see, I am completely hopeless. Ah, sheesh...

Elation & Depression

2006-07-08T10:23:00.000+08:00

Feeling a little better these days. Not that I fell sick again. But comforted by the fact that my Smeg is in working order again. Miraculous! I have not even called for the technician to come and service it yet. So that means I managed to save about $200. The other time, when I wanted to do puff pastries, the oven cocked up and caused a power trip. Sheesh… to think that I had all the things ready and my assistant chef (Hiqma) was all dressed up for her job – wearing an old tshirt in case she made a mess. So sad. There’s hope still…. Yeah, hope is always good. I wont be doing all out cake baking like Hirah… but I can get back to my apple crumbles, baked fish, roast chooks, mac n’ cheese, roast taters… the possibilities seem endless!!! You see, I’m more into savoury cooking. Hirah’s the baker in the family. I think my mum’s skills went to her. I don’t mind baking cakes and stuff like that once in a while, but I don’t have the confidence to do it commercially. (and anyway, my Kenwood is at Chai Chee). Yep, she’s selling her handiworks now – since she quit herding and training animals. Hehehe… I think she’ll agree with my description of it.. Mebe when I’m tired of what I’m doing now I’ll join her and mebe we can open shop. Hey, there’s nothing wrong in dreaming, rite? People sell chocs, we sell cakes and pastries. It’s oh so much more sellable compared to chocs. But I love my job too much to do it now.
I am so sad… so sad that last Thurs, by brain didn’t function at all. So sad that I decided not to watch the repeat telecast of the mighty germans tankers falling to the azzuris. To be kicked out in the dying minutes by two killer goals was just gut wrenching. Initially, I wanted to stay up and watch the game live, but the sleeping sounds of Hasnul and Hiqma convined me otherwise. Damn, I think I’ll be off pasta for a few weeks. Nevermind, there is still hope for third placing. Klinsmann did a good job, tho. A few months ago, even the german press wrote the team off… too young, they said. but anyway, Oliver Kahn is goalie for Sunday's third placing... cant wait to watch it. But don’t forget, the two teams meeting for the finals both consists of ageing players… the azzuris and le bleus have players who are in the thirties. That’s old by int’l standards. So, that means, when the world cup comes round again in 2010, the german team would have gelled together better. Portugal… well, I don’t care much for them. Contrary to popular believe, England was really lousy this time round. So I didn’t waste my time on them this time. They shine at club level, but somehow always stumble and fall hard in internationals. Hope the new coach can do wonders for England. And coupled with a new captain, I think the glory of England in the 60s will come back. Hhhheeeeeeyyyyy.... who am i kidding?

Omputih Belacan?

2006-07-06T22:42:00.000+08:00

Yep, I think Hiqma has an issue with her MT. I mean, she can speak it and understand what is being spoken, but when it comes to learning her ejaan and doing her malay homework, she couldn’t care less. Even her form teacher said that she had to repeat her instructions in English before Hiqma knew what was required of her in her homework. This morning, before leaving for work, I asked her whether she’ll do ok in her ejaan. “I dunno, I think so lah.” That was her answer. The other day, I made her re-do her malay homework, coz her penmanship was terrible. I mean, earthworms make better paint patterns on paper. I didn’t have to touch her maths homework. All the numberings and writings, legible. So someone tell me, is it just me or is she really not interested in her MT. I bring her to the library and she insists on borrowing all English books. Even a malay version of goldilocks and the three bears couldn’t get her interested. I bought a set of malay translated aesop’s fables last year, and it’s still in brand new condition. She’ll read about two pages before she loses interest and chuck it aside. she just cant connect the spelling of the word to the pronunciation. She simply struggles with the language. She’ll watch Krayon and malay cartoons on suria, but whenever I ask for her response in malay, she’ll answer in English. If I spelt the word s-e-l-u-a-r, she cant make it out unless accompanied by a picture. If I spell the word s-k-i-r-t, she’ll mentally spell it and know what it is. You get what I mean? How do I differentiate a-i-r (malay) and a-i-r (English)? Wednesday nights are a struggle, cos she has malay language on Thursdays. I think I have to go to geylang or smtg like tt to get for her practice papers. Am I pressurising her? If she decides to play letter-writing, she’ll use English (although her spelling mite be a little off). There’s no way she’ll do it in malay. But then again, mebe I am to be blamed also. When she first started speaking I emphasised more on English than malay. Even more so when she started nursery classes. Becoz her record book showed that she was not so proficient in English. I pulled out all the brakes and went head long into English literacy. My fault? I think so. She’ll be in primary one next year. I shudder to think on how she’ll cope with MT. will her teacher be forgiving and give her remedial classes? Or will her teacher just steam ahead with the syllabus and leave her by the wayside? Or will she somehow scrape thru the year and not learn much by year’s end? Questions… questions… questions… worry… worry… worry… stress… stress… stress…HELP!!! any suggestions?

Updates

2006-06-29T13:50:00.001+08:00

yeah yeah yeah... its been AGES since i last blogged. fell sick and got totally wiped out. i mean, it was ages since i had the flu. the last time it happened, i landed in hospital. this time round, it wasnt that bad, but i lost track of sun-up and sun-down, no less. stayed away from my kici hero - to the extent of not even stepping into his room. AND HE STILL GOT SICK. not as bad as me, but still had a raging high fever. and hasnul also got the bug (from me) and it kinda knocked the wind outta him for the wkend. surprise, surprise, hiqma didnt even have the slightest sniffle. to think that she was the resident medicine store-room of the family. well, she must have got the particular strain earlier and developed antibodies.
heck, since shaqill was oredy sick, i dared to get near him lah. and guess what? he found a new sweet spot. the warmest, darkest, muskiest place he can find... and is now called the Ketiak Boy. yeah, whenever he is carried in a sleeping position, he snuggles and squirms until his face is somewhere near the sweet spot. and i tell ya, he falls asleep real quick... or is he knocked out from the funky smells? LOL. i mean, seriously. it dun matter if i reached home from the office (sweaty and smelly) or just stepped out of the showers(smelling of J&J baby powder). thats the first place he looks for. wierd kinky boy.
went to the library with hiqma once i felt better. the new jurong west library is a great place to chill. not too big like the woodlands one, not too small like the old one , but just nice. the kids section dun hv the big tree like the woodlands one, but it has lotsa beanbags to slouch on. i am now gathering enough confidence to bring shaqill to the library and register him also. i found out a whole shelf of books dedicated to babies. hiqma even borrowed one book for her brother. she even read it to him the same evening. wow! i mean, apart from the occasional biting and pinching and poking, she's really a nice kakak. i hope she'll grow out of this adik-attacking phase. i'll just keep my fingers and toes crossed. and mebe also my eyes, thrown in for good measure. hahaha.
adik has been pretty noisy also. he's being more vocal now. i mean, he just used to whine whenever it was near feeding time. but now its an all out wail whenever he wants his bottle. coupled with his kicking and punching, he is now one mass of noisy arms and legs during feeding time. has been having farley's rusks for breakfast and dinner for some time, and he's loving it. i tried to add variety by giving him nestle's porridge, butit caused him to have a bad case of constipation. so i switched back to rusks. he's now up to 1.5 pieces per feeding, and he lapped up every spoonful. and one more thing. the hand that feeds must bring food to his mouth non-stop. or he'll wail out loud. i call him my little vacuum cleaner, coz his feeding bowl gets cleaned out real fast. just now, ashe finished a whole banana - the del monte one. and followed up with 2-oz of milk. but i still feel that he's not as chunky as hiqma when she was at his age. i'll give him another month or two. mebe then i'll know if he is the lean or chunky type.
kakak had macaroni and cheese for lunch just now. and oh yeah, she skipped school again today. it seems that she has a phobia of the malay language. coz she has malay spelling and listening compre on thursday. she hates it so much that she develops tummy-aches and even vomits. yep, she did the merlion thingy while putting on her shoes. so cant help it lah. keep her home. got to nip it tho. she'll be in primary one next year. argh! i got to start sourcing for a malay language tutor if things dun get better. back to the mac n cheese. i added some cauliflower, broccoli and carrots into it. she really detests veggies. even calls them grass! she spotted the vegs and her eyes grew as big as saucers. she looked at me as if i just committed the biggest crime in the world. yeah, mb her world! promptly stopped eating. sheesh! i'll have to grind her food if she refuses her veggies again later for dinner. and oh yeah, my oven's in working order again - yippee - but i'll save that story for another update. soon, i promise. hehehe.....

my g-spot

2006-05-29T23:05:00.000+08:00

its been 2.75 mths since i found a new guy. and this guy has brought me nothing but amazement... amazed tt such a small body could emit such ear shattering cries! he's been teaching me a lot about patience and speed all at once. his input/output patterns are just about predictable. but once in a while, he'll put me in a tizzy when he decides to poop once every few days. should i dilute his formula, should i give him more plain water, should i visit the doc, should i go to the pharmacy and get over-the-counter meds... decisions, decisions, decisions. just as i am abt to make up my mind, he gives one helluva fart and poops big time. and i tell you, when he farts, he really farts. with smell and sound. and sometimes accompanied by a facial expression i can only describe as an impish grin. i m kinda looking 4wd to the day he farts with his eyes crossed. cruel but cute. really, how can u not luv a guy like that. the other day, out of boredom and running out of ideas to keep him a little less frumpy, i decided to ticlke under his chin. he stopped fussing for a bit. encouraged, i tickled some more. he started to laugh and laugh and laugh. so i found it, my boy's g(iggle)-spot. hah! what were you thinking? it was soooo kawaii! i wished i had my handphone with me so tt i cld record it. too bad daddy had to miss it, working lah. duh. this small hero, he likes to go kai-kai. as soon as someone carries him near the front door, he'll start kicking his legs in anticipation of going for a walk. and boy can he kick. hell, if he wants to be a pro footballer, by all means do it, but with a minimum tertiary education as a backup. as soon as we enter the house after going out, he'll cry his heart out - for a while. as if to complain that he hasnt got his fill of kai-kai-ing. difficult lah like dis. kakak's ambition changes from day to day. on american idol days, she wants to be a singer. 2day, after watching 'so u think u can dance', she wants to be a dancer. some other day, she'll be the first woman crane operator. sometimes she wants to help her gramma bake. or mebe just paint her days away with her poster paints. whatever she wants, i'll stay beside her n gif her encouragement. but still, the minimum criteria is tertiary education. sucks being a parent. they sit for the tests, we do the worrying. adik has a new hobby... sucking on his fist, pretending tt it's an ice-lolly. if i pull aside his fist and put the pacifier instead, he'll just spit it out and put his fist back to his mouth. a bit degil lah this one. so i went to get teething toys for him. bo pakei also lah. nothing will replace his trusted fist of fury. can hear the chok-chok-chok sounds he makes as he suck contently on his fist. and the bottom half of his face will be a gooey wet mess of saliva. eeewwwwwww! not to mention that his frequent tshirt/bib changes can challenge any model doing a runway show. bought kakak a mcd happy meal just now. got a toy, a red car. he seemed facinated by it. he just wouldnt take his eyes off it. if his head could do a 360 spin to keep track of the car, i think he just would. creepy, come to think of it. so i suggested kakak to put the toy in front of him, just out of his grasp. first, he stared at the toy, as if willing it to come to him. when it didnt (of course it wont), he leaned forward and then tried to take it with both hands. serious! of course kakak got frustrated lah, she wasnt about to give up her new toy. so i said, pretend-pretend only lah. then she ok. now adik flat out zzzz, and kakak oredy doing gymnastics in her sleep. and she's beginning to have the habit of gnashing her teeth in her sleep. i hv to get back to those parenting books regarding it. damn. where did i put those books. we all know how trusted the internet can be sometimes. gtg, i wanna watch scrubs

Update update update

2006-05-28T22:07:00.000+08:00

oh crap!!! been ages since i blogged. no mood lah. just this past week, two of my project members left us. one was coz it was the end of the contract, another was bcoz he was offered better elsewhere. since our group consists of 4 people, i guess the remaining duo is pretty much screwed. it just takes an opening to pop it's head up before my engineer leaves. i can feel it tho he doesnt say. so u can pretty much guess why i'm sooo bummed out. at the moment, i feel that i have yet to tap into what my company has to offer. i am just waiting for the design team to say that there is an opening in their section and i'll leave the hull structure and naval arch shit for good. my AGM did mention that since i had about 5+yrs in structure, i should be spreading my wings and try mechanical. basically, i just feel like shit. not enuff with trying to catch up on work (nobody covered me during maternity lve, damn!), i hv to be on stadby if SSPL thinks that it is necc for me to guide their people. fer gods sake, i started my system on my own with no refs, cant they do the same. so what if we r sister company? crap, i say. damn, i wanna reign in my talents for a little while longer and see how much my boss is giving me for this year's increment excercise. it had better be good. for all the tears and frustrations and arguments and disagreements i had... it'd better be worth it. at times i just feel like my sanity hangs by a thread (sounds like a corny song) but really, sometimes its just better to jump off the edge of a cliff than argue about another tonnage issue. sometimes i wonder if god purposely put people in this world to drive others crazy. people with experience and talent are being laid off like flies, and useless people who cant do anything but talk smart get the promos and big money. where i am now, i am quite contented on a good day... that is, on a day where brainless people dont aske me stoopid questions. i wonder how they got their degrees? marine engineering ones at that. no joke that my boss did once say that if i stayed past 8pm in the office, he has to buy number, cos i seldom stay past 6 nowadays. oh yeah, there was that crappy time when i had to stay until 9pm daily for nearly a month. coz the stupid karimun office messed up a whole lot and schedule was really tight. i was crying with frustration as i re-did the whole rig's LQ shop dwgs. if i could punch anyone's face right then, i would have done so. really. so whoever said that my life working in an office is easy, try sitting in my cubby hole for at least half a day and see if you can take it. right now, i am soooo not looking forward to going to work 2mr, coz there was a shortcut program that got messed up last week and the only person who has an idea about it has left - aka my team mate. even after being grilled by my AGM, it seemed that he still took some things with him - the program scripts. sooooo frustrating. must remember to stop by 7-11 b4 work 2mr to get some chocs to last me thru the crappy day. at least i got one thing to look forward to 2mr... my contact lenses are ready. yay. how pitifool!

the blahdeyfool

pudong-13

2006-05-14T20:20:00.000+08:00

woke up about 730am. planned to shop-shop w my fren before the morning crowd overwhelmed us. apparently, we were tooooooo early. the only two shop opened at the ungodly hour of 830am was a bookstore and a shop selling really awful looking clothes. there's no way in hell i am gonna be caught dead wearing them. so we went in to just look-see. yeah, i was right, real awful. i cringe just thinking that the people here would fork out $ for them. went back to the hotel for our breakky, coz the street stalls selling their food looked really wierd. the hotel wasnt much different. i mean, yeah there was more variety than at the sheraton, but quantity doesnt mean quality. the food in the buffet trays were swimming in grease and the fresh milk tasted outdated - read - sourish. real fresh, that one. i ended up downloading twice before we checked out of the hotel at 1015am. from there it was a non-stop 4hr trip back to pudong for the flight back to singa land. slept most of the time, to avoid feeling hungry and to forget about the bad breakfast i had. woke up just in time to get on the vehicle ferry again. this time i got out and walked around the deck to stretch myself. suddenly a real big smell of a pong hit me (is there such an expression?). i was choking and my eyes were wterting from the ammonia overload. i scanned around and found - the - toilet. omg, major gross fest, man! it was just a little nook at the sideshell of the ferry, with no door, and you do your business facing the open waters with your cute frozen bum facing the passengers. oh man, i saw a cheena man walking towards it and i literally ran away from where i was standing. i dont nid such free entertainment on my trip back. the weather was a little clearer tho, better than on our trip to nantong yesterday. took a few pixs, will add it after i get it from my fren - he's the one with the camera. we decided not to drive straight to the airport, but stop at the town centre and take the MagLev instead. did the tourist-y thing of busy snapping photos everywhere - jakun! the train looked cool and nice... and it took all of 7 mins to cover about 50km to the airport - at 431km/h.i mean, we were flying on the tracks. did a little bigwalk to the main terminal to check in our luggage. had so many declaration forms to fill in. after that we got about 1.5hrs to boarding time. didnt do much at the terminal, coz i was really hungry and grouchy by then. it has been 6hrs since breakfast time, and i downloaded big time before the long drive. so i just followed my frens walk aimlessly to burn the time until boarding. bought a pack of M&Ms and devoured the pack in record time. cost SD4 for a pathetic small pack. but it was worth every single cent. as soon as we boarded at 1615hrs, i asked the crew for a pack of nuts and some water. they might think i am a cheapskate, but heck care. thank god i am flying SQ, so i am guaranteed of a good meal later. i was right. had baked cod and veggies, crackers and cheese, salmon and shrimp salad, cake and icecream. washed it down with two glasses of apple juice. i could not be happier. tried to sleep after that but couldnt. i think i ate too much. greedy pig! halfway during the journey, all of us had to be strapped in coz there was some nasty turbulence. nobody was hurt, but it was quite scary. watched casanova and love match on the personal video until it was time to touchdown at changi. cos we had a delay during departure, 1745hrs instead of 1630hrs, we touched down around 2240 at changi. i was a walking zombie by then. good thing we have efficient immigration here compared to china, or else i would have fallen asleep standing up. accompanied hasnul for a quick snack at mcd before taking a cab home. reached at 0001hrs. got the receipt to prove it. couldnt sleep immed coz i was still wound up from the whole day of travelling non-stop. one thing's for sure... all four of us are not looking forward to going back to the office on monday.

nantong-12

2006-05-14T20:05:00.000+08:00

woke up a little early, about 630am. Not because there was another round of interviews, but bcos we had to drive up to jiaolong yard in nantong, which takes about 3hrs by road and an hour on vehicle ferry. I dozed off as the car was leaving the pudong area, and didn’t wake up until it was time for the car to get on the ferry. It was a new experience for me. The weather was really wet and cold. I got out of the car and went to the second deck to stretch myself. Really nice. They are now constructing a bridge across the river to beat the one in Europe for the title of longest bridge in the world. Suspension bridge, I think. Pretty cool, I think. But the people here do not have a QA/QC mentality. So its kinds shady a little. I dunno, I have my doubts. Reached the jiaolong around 1330hrs. had a tour of the place. Damn bloody huge, man, the place. But the manpower is only about 700. I mean, the place is even bigger than PPL. Went to the workshops. Expecting the pits, but I was shocked. It was clean, really clean. In one area, it was so clean that we cloud lay out a picnic mat and have lunch. All their welding hoses were well-kept and maintained. I mean, housekeeping they win, really. They even have a raised passageway for human traffic. Nothing of those painted yellow line boundaries that we have here. I was really impressed. But the safety aspects,omg, god help them! A forklift carrying steel plates was being driven like it belonged to the racing circuits. Welding being done without proper protection, people sitting underneath moving gantry cranes, and no earplugs were issued – none. I couldn’t even hear myself think when I was inside the workshop. I’ll be deaf in a day if I were to work there. From there, we drove for about 35mins to our hotel. At first impression, it lookd grander than the Sheraton we stayed in pudong. But first impressions remained as that. The rooms were urgh. One of my fren’s room had a safe deposit box that swallowed his $ and passport. I mean, he couldn’t open it after putting his things in and closing it. My room’s electrical circuitry could do with a rewiring. Everytime I wanted to switch on the bedside lamps, sparks were seen at the switch. But one thing in common, all the rooms had a funky smell. Like as if it hadn’t been aired for a long, long, long time. I opened my windows until it was time to go for dinner at 7pm. We had it at one of the private banquet rooms in the hotel. The food sucks, big time. My fren and I actually planned to go shop-shop and mebe stop by the mcd opposite our hotel. But it rained when we left the dinner halfway. So we returned to the room and joined back the group. Its past ten, and I have downloaded whatever I had for dinner and all I nid is a quick wash before I collapse on the bed. (I wish I was still back at pudong… Sheraton, man!) gotta wake up early 2mr for the journey back to pudong and an afternoon flight back to spore at 1630hrs. ciao!

shanghai-11

2006-05-14T20:02:00.000+08:00

went to la-la land with ten elephants doing the tap dance on my head… my migraine was THAT bad. Too bad I didn’t have my synflex with me. Woke up this morning after a morbid nightmare of witnessing my old fren’s funeral. Suks man. Must be fatigue doing me in. breakfast was up at the 29th flr again. Nice clear view this mrng, the temp must be above 20C with strong sunlight. Had oatmeal, nice, but I still homed in on my oat bran and raisin cereal. Yum yum. Had a full bowl of it. I am a happy camper. Its 9am and I’m now sitting at the main lobby waiting for the first session to start. Catch up later. …later…
went to the same place we went yesterday for lunch. U know what, thank god that was the last time we were having our meal there. I caught a glimpse of the cooking area and all the food I consumed during lunch made a Schumacher for my mouth. I had to high tail myself out of there before I really merlion-ed. After that it was shopping time at old shanghai road. Looked cheap and affordable, but it seemed that there are two prices for the items… local and foreign. And I had to learn to drive a hard bargain fast… REAL fast. My fren had a penchant for crystal bangles, so we dropped by a lot of those types of shops. In one of those shops (not really a shop, more like a hole in the wall), I woman approached us and offered to sell us branded original imitations. We thought of giving it just a look-see, but we were reaaaaallllllyyy a little worried when we had to follow her go through the backlanes to get to her shop. For a moment I wondered if I was gonna get out of there alive! She had to knock a password on the door and call her partner on her mobile before a door opened. We had to go thru 3 doors before we saw the goods. I tell you, it is as compatible as the ones sold in korea. At one glance, it might even pass off as the real mccoy. I went crazy looking at all the bags and watches they had to offer. Succumbing to my weakness, I got myself a latest edition prada for SD80, and a breitling for SD150. considered it a great bargain. My fren got a hermes and a franck Mueller. I wished I brought along more $, so that I could buy more. Oh yeah, the scarves were going for RMB10, which equates to SD2. how could I not buy a few? A Caucasian lady who was also there thought that my nike was on sale, since I placed it beside the merchandise on sale. All in all, I think I spent about SD350 on that street that afternoon. It included cheap jade bangles, magnetic bracelets and magnets. Wanted to look for clothes for my kids, but there weren’t any. So I had to settle for a souvenir tshirt for hiqma and a panda toy bear for hadyr. The magnetic bracelets looked a little tacky, but it is a little unique. Different. So I got them. My fren went crazy and bought another bag and more crystal bracelets. We stopped shopping around 7pm, coz the shops there close at 7.30pm. took a cab straight back to the hotel, where we stopped by the convenience shop to get some crackers. I munched on them as I packed my luggage for checking out tomorrow. Its about 10+, I wanna watch a little tv b4 I zzzzz….

shanghai - 10

2006-05-14T19:57:00.000+08:00

woke up at abt 0700hrs. slept very well, had the whole king sized bed to myself. Took a very nice and long shower in the glass-walled toilet. Watched tv while I showered. While getting dressed, I pushed aside the curtains. The surroundings look like a piece out of bras basah. Very old skool. Went to the 29th flr for buffet breakfast. Not much choice, coz it has more oink-oink than anything else. But the oat bran and raisin cereal is powderful… I mean, cereal is the same everywhere, but I guess coz my choice was very limited, my brain made it taste really nice. Look forward to eating it again tmr. First batch of interviewees started to arrive by about 9-ish. Lets just say by the time it was lunch, I was borderline famish. Took a cab to town for some food. The restaurant we were heading for had already shifted without us knowing it. So it took another 30mins before we found another eating establishment that serves nice food. This restaurant is quite famous, it seems. Most muslim tours will bring the tourists here for a meal. Its in old shanghai town. Much like old Chinatown before the govt spruced it up. I love the beef slice noodles. Slurp, slurp. Belly, belly, belly nice. But the bowl was so big, I could use it to steam my face. They also have this deep fried chicken szechuan style. There was more chilli padi than chicken pieces. And the chilli padi, gawd, I tell you, make your eyes water just by smelling the seeds at close range. Lovely. My fren went to the restroom and it was the pits… and the door cant close. I stand by the believe that they still have a long way to go before toilet hygiene improves. Whatever I nid to download I held it back until we return to the hotel. The weather was a little bone chilling cold. But nice. And one more thing. Its kinda weird here. They would rather breathe in polluted air than close the windows and switch on the air-con. And if the govt doesn’t announce the start of winter, they would rather freeze their fingers off than switch on the heaters. Penny-pinchers, these folks. The second round of interviews started at about 1400+hrs. it sorta dragged until 1700+, where we took a dinner break and had the final round of interviews from 1900 to about 2230hrs. I was seeing double by the time we took the elevator down from the agent’s office. Took a quick walk back to the hotel where I had a quick shower and then type this blog while eating the snacks I bought yesterday. Its midnight now, and my brain is fuzzing up. Cant think …

shanghai-09

2006-05-14T19:49:00.000+08:00

5 hrs glued to the plane seat… didn’t get bum burn tho. Coz my eyes were glued to the screen in front of me. Watched Nanny MacPhee and Narnia. On arrival @ Pudong, PRC, the temp was a cool 21C. it is in the same timezone as spore. So no jetlag. Woohoo!! They follow the US style of driving… on the other side of the road. Had to get used to checking the left side of the road before crossing. The drivers and pedestrians don’t really care about traffic rules. Who dares wins. It was a 45mins drive from the airport to the hotel. First impression of the toilet wasn’t a letdown. I mean, it was at the airport, I might be biased. Clean, got toilet seat liner some more. They have a speed train system running from the airport direct to the town center. They call it the MagLev (MAGnetic LEVitation).It runs on electromagnetic power. They learn the technology from the germans and adapt it to their specifications. It runs @ top speed of 430-450kmh. Even faster than the japanese bullet trains. But it costs S$8 one way. You must show your plane tix to purchase it at that price. If not, it costs S$16. walking from the disembarkation gate to the immigration… I think my calf muscles grew! Go fig! Dinner was great. Ate halal food, but its not like the ones found in spore. More of northern and Mongolian cuisine. Nice…very nice… and it turns out that there are quite a number of muslim restaurants here in pudong. After dinner, we went to their version of Orchard Road. I tell you, ours lose out hands and feet down. I can walk from one end to the other with my mouth open in amazement! Its just like japan’s harajuku district. Full of colours and sounds. Shopping centres blare out their sound systems, coupled with bright neon lights. There is even a permanent performing stage, bigger than the ones they sometimes have at Taka. When I was there there was a fashion show going on. But the cost of things here are quite pricey. Either equal or higher than @ our orchard road. So my thoughts of buying a few tops or bottoms went up in smoke. By the time we wanted to return to the hotel, the weather was a cool 19C with drizzle. I love this kind of weather, it reminds me of London on a cold and foggy day. Something like genting on a really, really cold day. Clouds were a little above head level, and we couldn’t see the tops of high rise buildings at times. The shanghai tv tower totally disappeared from view. On the way back, we went over the river using the suspension bridge/flyover. It went so high that I think it was double the height of Benjamin sheares bridge – mebe more. That high. Got off the cab about a street away from the hotel. Dropped by a convenience store for some snacks, and the pathway outside it smelt like the river at jb. Stinky and makes your stomach churn. smtg like old pasar geylang after very heavy rain before they wash the floor. STINKY. By the time I opened my room door, I was ready to collapse on the bed. Thank good I didn’t have to battle jetlag.

Rantings!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-03T22:48:00.000+08:00

i am sooo ready to blow my top!!! bad enuff i m called into the ofc during my maternity leave, f***, i hv 2 clear the mess made by some dick! ordy flooded w backdated dwgs since early march, i had to do a repair job for the hull damaged in the mishap in april... u know... the collapsed crane boom incident. with no head, no tail, i was summoned into e production mtg just now at 1630hrs and the bloody thing dragged until nearly 1800hrs. n to make it so sweet, only 15 mins of it concerned me. still fuming about the whole thing. becoz the hull was built in thailand and then shipped over here, i had to struggle with a lot of drwgs i wasnt familiar with. n to make matters worse, THIS IS AN URGENT JOB. the prodn guys made it look and sound so simple..."a little rework here lah... cut and bevel here lah... just add in bracket plt here lah..." do they know that it takes about a day to remodel the hull in Tribon and abt another day to process the information to production level? there's also tonnage issues and material availability issues to think about. just becoz we sit in an aircond ofc doesnt mean we dont sweat, man! on average, every person is juggling 2~3 projects at any one time. wat abt man-hours issue? i am not about to sacrifice anymore of my maternity leave than i need to. i made up my mind, not going to work 2mr. gonna chill out at home, n mb if got the energy, go gym in the afternn. friday go back to the ofc to tie up loose ends and pick up my tickets for next wk's flight.

tarrah, hurrah n in need of cocoa consolation
... me...

Prayer

2006-04-29T20:27:00.000+08:00

A PRAYER FOR THE STRESSED

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I cannot accept, And the wisdom to hide the bodies I had to kill today because they irritate me. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass I have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work... 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday.

And help me to remember... When I am having a bad day, and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to f*** off. AMEN!

Quote of the day :
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Robert A Heinlein

zombie...

2006-04-26T22:17:00.000+08:00

was back in the office for the first time since going on maternity leave. sucks that i have to clear paperwork... mainly due to the urgency bcos of MOM requirements - risk analysis. shucks! not that i was enjoying my time there, but i didnt realise the day was nearly over until 5pm. i nid to talk 2 the people @ hr dept to extend my maternity leave. damn! i nid my maltesers!!!!!!!!!!!!

but on the other hand, was feeling a little excited. bcos amore is gonna open a branch @ jrg pt. YAY!!! no more wasting time on the train going all the way to wdlands. which also means that i dun nid to take a shower b4 heading home. just a feeder service away, y bother. so even if my bos asks me to turn up next tuesday, i'll say no, cos that's the first day they r gonna open. cant wait... cant wait... cant wait... but i'm still feeling a little sore from monday.

what the heck, gonna end it here. wanna get all my gear prepared to head to wlands 2mr after work.

just going to do it
lead n piles

procrastination quotes of de day
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Office Beckons

2006-04-25T14:41:00.000+08:00

happily snoozing the afternoon away... then my hp rang. the office! oh man, what do they need now? i have to cm back to the ofc for the next 3 days. wed... thurs... fri... thot, not so bad, still managable. then my bos called. personally. i nd to fly to china on 9th may - for recruitment. hey, waitaminute, i m not in human resource. i have to go there to test those that my company wants to recruit - to see whether they meet our standards or not. oh man... thailand i can handle, but all the way in cheena land? i got my doubts there. but we'll see. i am easily adaptable, so i'll cross the bridge when i come to it... the aerobridge, that it. only 3 days, my boss assured. it had better be. right now my head is spinning, coz i've been crudely awakened from my slumber...

so it's back to 21 pandan road 2mr. i'll settle what nids to be settled, and see if i really nid to show my scrappy face back there on thursday and fridi-dai-di-day. messed up my plans on hitting the gym 3x a week before i get back to work. i'll have until tonite to think whether i still wanna go to the gym 2mr after work, or mb push it to thursday, or mb friday... hmmm, whadayya think?

wonder woman
one blurr chick

procrastination quotes of de day
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

sweat rat

2006-04-24T20:23:00.000+08:00

Finally did it! dragged my heavy ass to wdlands amore and pounded the mill. huffed and puffed for an hour, but only managed to clock 6km... way below 10km like i used to. a bit disappointed, but consoled myself that this is the 1st time back there in 9mths.

was a little wobbly getting off the mill, my knees felt like jelly. had to sit down and take a breather. tried the resistance machines, but could only handle 3 repetitions b4 i started getting wobbly again. thot to myself, that's it, enough torture for the day and trudged to the showers.

changing into streetwear, i took a seat at the bench and had difficulty getting up. what did i get myself into? all the way to the mrt station, told myself, mind over matter. left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. my brain was so clouded by the pain that i took the train heading for marina bay instead of jurong. how dense! only when i reached sembwg did i realise that.

it was sweltering hot by the time i reached bnlay that the freshness i felt after taking the shower just wilted away. i was practically bathed in perspiration by the time i reached home. now my legs feel like lead and i am walking around like a person having piles. i still have faith in god that my body does not to fail me when i want to move around 2mr. god help me!

dragging meself to bed
one tired mama rat

BabyBlues

2006-04-21T11:22:00.000+08:00

just finished reading the papers. actually, more like the cartoon page in LIFE. nothing like "baby blues" to crack me up. seriously. i mean, i might not be like wanda, the stay-at-home mum, but the battles she has with her three kids... oh man, so REAL!!! my office colleagues could never understand why i can laugh until i my sides ache whenever i read baby blues. i guess being single or childless, the humour is lost on them. i might not have three of those terrors, but hiqma is an equivalent of zoe, always wanting to be the first in anything and always better than the rest... i can already foresee the arguments between her and hadyr. as of now, hadyr has already recognized hiqma's voice, and he will cry out loud even tho she is not within sight yet. i guess mebe it has been ingrained in his memory that big sister = big terror.

this morning, hadyr had a pretty bad blocked nose. i could see blobs of booger in both nostrils. being the good mum, i used the baby nose-cleaner to pick it out. guess what, the screaming started. as if staying up half the night checking on him wasnt bad enuff. weary from insufficient sleep, i just attacked the booger with whatever strength i had left. when the maid came back from sending hiqma to school, she said that his wailing could be heard from the void deck! i live on the 6th floor, remember? as soon as i passed him to her, he started "complaining" to her about my mistreatment. my m-i-l, maid and myself had a great laugh. he must have told my maid what a bad mum i was, putting a foreign object in his nose. the moment i stood over him, beside my maid, he started to bawl his eyes out... must be saying "how could you mum!!!!!!!!" by that time, i was already half a zombie. left him in the maid's hands (she was preparing him for his bath, anyway), while i took time out on my bed. couldnt fall asleep, coz i promised hiqma i'll make for her prata-cheese (instant prata pasted with cheese slices) when she comes back from school at ten. if i were to really fall asleep, i think i'll wake up at noon!

i am running out of ideas what to make for hiqma when she returns from school... instant noodles, macaroni n cheese, MnM pancakes, buttered rice, mushroom soup with croutons, breakfast cereal, egg mayo sandwich, tuna mayo sandwich, baked beans on toast, grilled cheese, fish fingers, hotdogs, pizza toast... i guess i'll have to... hmmm.... i've not tried banana pancakes yet... i mean, since there is a willing victim, why not? as long as it's not boring ol' oatmeal, she's fine with it. k, good, keep that in mind for monday... the banana pancakes idea, what were you thinking?

i kinda think that hiqma is only a kampung terror. she always tries to boss us at home, but repeatedly says that she doesnt like going for her madrasah classes. upon deeper investigations, it seems that her ustazah always picks on her to lead her group in reading doas or surahs. to make things worse, next saturday, they have an event where the best readers from each level will compete for prizes. every friday night and saturday morning she will plead with me not to send her for the classes. even since nursery level, her report cards will say "quiet in class" (hmmm?). the only time i recalled her having a real fistfight was last year, it was hilarious!!! went like this... she was sitting beside her classmate in the school bus. another classmate of hers offered her a sweet in exchange of her seat. she took the sweets and said thank you (got manners one!!) but her butt was still glued to the seat (huh?)! so the boy punched her in the arm and she answered with one back. the bus assistant had to intervene and put them in opposite ends of the bus. 5 years old, could you imagine that? as soon as she alighted from the transport, she threw down her school bag and said,"he better not be on the bus tomorrow!!" you could imagine the reaction from the bus assistant and my m-i-l, who fetched her that day. a few days after that, she asked if she could give some sweets to her friends. i asked who they were, and surprise, surprise, the boy who punched her was one of them. how i wished the real adult world was as forgiving as that.

this elections/polling day thingy has no effect on me. is it supposed to? am i the kind of people that the gahmen talk about? the indifferent generation? subconsciously am i taking for granted what the gahmen has been doing for the nation? i mean yeah, i am happy and glad and thankful that spore is safe and all that blah-blah. but that is about it, i wont be tuning in when the political broadcast will be shown on tv, neither will i be attending any of the rallies. heck, i even skip the "election06" pages in the papers. knowing that the major ruling party has had a good track record, it will take something really major to happen for the opposition to win this time. the progress package carrot that the gahmen has given to the people has already sealed their victory. i am just watiting to see whether any other goodies will be given after the election buzz has died down. having said that, i got $600 for my progress package. heck, better half full than half empty, rite? and one more thing - i dont believe in conspiracy theories... be it political or scientific.

easily satisfied,
one tired mama

my cocoa calling

2006-04-19T18:36:00.000+08:00

my, my, my...

woke up dis mrng really craving for chocs. anything w a cocoa content will do. after sending off hiqma to school, went to e kitchen and put a heaped spoonful of milo in my mouth. heaven... pure bliss... and to think that i had a full bar of meiji's dark chocolate yesterday b4 turning in. on my way back from the supermarket just now, stopped by a drink stall and tar-pow a cup of milo-peng - at 9 in the mrng. as soon as i got home, sat in front of the procrastination inducer - read - tv, and finished it. people nid caffeine in their veins, i nid cocoa to function.

about 10.30am, started preparing hiqma's early lunch - mushroom soup with extra many button mushrooms. erh... i promised her this lunch since monday.and also had a pack of pink kitkats... really... pink... strawberry flvd lah. nice... addictive... actually bought it for hiqma, but couldnt resist taking a bar away from her. so sad that the 7-11 at my place dont carry the meiji series of chocolates.

while munching away on my preciousss, i thot to myself... gotta get to the gym. still have abt 6wks remaining on my current subscription. so really nid to get dis big butt moving on the treadmill. lost all the pregnancy weight (glad abt tt), but now worried tt i cant keep it off. told myself that i'll kick off next wk. really!!!
hasnul was impressed that i managed to set up my blog on my own. but he did wonder whether i had the discipline to keep it going when i get back to the office. well... we'll see about that. mebe i wont be updating it that often, but i'll try to stick to it.

the procrastinator's creed... hasnul added it (i wonder where he found it). hahaha... but sometimes i disagree, i am not a procrastinator, just a very, very relaxed person who likes to take things very, very slowly. to the extent that i dont get it done in the end. i mean, why push yourself to do something a little unpleasant when u could spend the time chilling out or spend it on something you like doing.

i skipped lunch cos decided that surfing the net with hiqma was better. initially surfing for ghost pictures, but ended up on funnyjunk.com where we laughed ourselves silly with the pictures there. so got no-one to blame when i felt peckish at 4. opened the fridge and guess what was staring back at me? black cake cupcakes from my mum - all 6 of them! she gave it to me over the wkend. sounds gross, but the cake recipe has a more intense choc taste than the normal chocolate cakes in the shops. had one, wanted another one, but decided against it. hirah (my younger sis) tried a new chocolate cake recipe a fortnight ago. liked it cos has a chewy consistency to it... can really challenge my mum's black cake recipe at the top of my list. foooooyuh!!!

watching american idol as i'm typing this entry... see, another skill - multi-tasking. something i perfected with hadyr. i can feed him and fall asleep at the same time. nope, no harm done to him tho, just irritated that mummy still has the feeding bottle stuck to his mouth when the contents have been emptied. my milk has dried up so he's now on 100% formula. wyeth's S-26. the other day, he was just cranky and cring non-stop... it was beginning to drive me up the wall. tried massage, changing his diaper, burped him, tried many carrying positions... nothing worked!!! at the end of my wits, i let him suckle on my now-closed milk factory. even tho there was no milk, he happily sucked and fell into deep sleep. i laughed so hard that i nearly woke him up. real attention seeker and drama queen!!!!!

seeing LKY on the screen reminds me that elections are coming up, and yet i find myself not really bothered by the whole hoo-ha. is that good or bad? i dont even know if there is a contest in my area. i just now that my area's rep has stepped down for this elections.

eh, dis time round, american idol very tight. i mean, all the contestants are good. so i'll sign up again, mb 2mr, mb not. for once, simon has no scathing remarks for anyone - so far. chris did not sing a rock song for once.

me go now,
choco nut

Blog Virgin

2006-04-18T12:19:00.000+08:00

Arlow good people out there!!! title sounds interesting doesnt it? but take it at the simplest level... this is my first attempt to write a blog.... blah... pictures and other accessories will come later

here's the skinny on me :

finaz, 30 (still young), libra, working mum, addicted to chocolates, a klutz with
tech-y gadgets n stuffs

... on hubby :

hasnul, 33 (old compared to me... hahaha), libra, working dad, loves computer
stuffs-thingy

... on luggage :

hiqma, 5 1/2, leo, a sweet girl, stubborn at times (where does she get it from?),
loves Hi-5 and cranes (the machine, not the bird)

hadyr, 6 wks old, attention seeker, cant stand hot weather,
loves getting massages

Truthfully... i have been on home leave, no, maternity leave, since 1st march. i have been itching to do this since i came back from the hospital. procrastinate, procrastinate... solid 12 weeks of being a tai-tai... far from the truth!!!

Being a working mum, i initially enjoyed staying at home and spending more time with my kids... but the exhaustion soon wore me down. hiqma just loves the fact that when she comes home from school, i'm around. my new bundle of ten fingers and ten toes... he's another one... a real attention seeker, a screamer, this one! i didnt remember being stretched to my limit with the first one. luckily i got a domestic helper to help me out.

The combination of disciplining the elder one, checking for sibling jealousy, having swollen mammaries, lack of sleep due to night feedings, a new pattern of feeding, burping and changing diapers... made me actually crave for the pressures at the office. some days, i feel like a cow on two feet, coz he was always stuck to me. i dont even have the energy to talk to hasnul. poor thing!!! hmmm... him or me?but it's ok now, getting the hang of it, but i catch myself "zoning out" once in a while.

While i am writing this, hiqma and hadyr are both napping, so i can focus on getting this done without interruptions.

I hope i can get to do this on a regular basis.. u readers have to help me on this... drop by often to keep me disciplined. yeah, that's one thing. and stop procrastinating!!

catch up soon,
mama rilek

The Procrastinator's Creed:
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.